Love, Miss or Struggle?

I have friends who are hundreds, thousands miles away that I miss that I tried to tell them every day.

I have friends who are less then 50 miles away and I think maybe I love but I am not dare to tell just because it is probably not gonna go anywhere, not gonna have anything. Not because I haven't tried though cause I promise I did and people who know me knows that I always tried till it's total dead end.

What's the deal after all really?

There are several kind of people.

First kind of people, they Lie....
and unfortunately, most of them lies......a lot.... that you can't even believes it.
Luckily most of all, usually it doesn't really matter at all till you actually trust them, then it goes ugly and horrible :p... you know that's how things goes most time.

Second Kind of people, they Disappear.
Sometimes they do it after they lie you know then they disappear... it just happens...
Either shame or embarrassment or basically just do Not want to face the problem at all.
They tell themselves all kind of different excuses...

1) I don't really care, it's not what I like
2) We have too less in common
3) I shouldn't be the one to talk first
4) I just don't want to deal with it
5) one it uses all the time to explain to their friends to make the whole thing legit
         ---> He is just crazy
         ---> It's just insane..... don't even know how to say it...
most of the time cause they know if they say it, their friends will know it's their fucking problems, not others.

6) Bunch of other excuses, never end

so after all, no matter what excuse you use, you have, you explained it,
if you just disappear, there's only one way to describe you honestly, irresponsible.
before you gone, no matter scream or whatever, say it, tell them what was the problem
if not it will just be a game or hate that never finishes.

Third kind of people? They cry.

Not literally crying I mean but usually this happens when the people who lie and disappear trying to get back to whoever they was with. They say I am Sorry, it's my fault...... thousands of legit excuses or the best out of it, they blame themselves first so you basically have no ways around it. The only thing to do at that point most time is just tell yourself, that's it, I am not taking more of this crap. Of cause sometimes the other person can be really shitty as well and that's why the other decide to fuck it and do all the crap.

so self-evaluating is really important as well
nothing goes one way, NO communications are one way, no matter you want to receives it or not, it's always two ways. No response, is totally a response and it's one of the lowest quality ones and sometimes they even qualify in the list of disappear.
..........

The Fourth kind of people, they stay Quiet.

No matter what happens, they try to solve it themselves first all the time,
usually they will try to comfort themselves and try to explain it in his/her head,
and if it couldn't some speak up, some don't
but no matter which one they are, most of the time they loves the other person lot lot lot
to do this sacrifice. it's a hard thing to do, maybe you thought keeping silent is easy but it's not.
Think about if you see something horrible and you are not allowed to say anything about it?

It's one of the worse thing and the worst about this is that the person who keeping Quiet and Silent isn't hurting the person who are doing things wrong, it's him/herself is the one who suffer out of all these.


Some occasions are different ofcoz though you know, you decided to not say something just so you don't loss more out of the conversation and you still want to keep a friend but that situation are kinda rare even though people think they should keep Quiet often but that often the best decision and actually benefiting the whole event.

I ask myself a question most of the time when I make a decision,

Who is going to be Happy at the end of this,
if someone is going to be Happy, no matter yourself or others,
determine is it worth it to do so but if no one is going to be happy about it,
that's easy, just drop it and leave it.

Have a great week for now, it's Monday
BR,
Felix

Me and Facebook? I am tired, truly am...

so I decided to temporary deactivate my Facebook, so what now?

nothing much I suppose, I just feels like not really myself I suppose.
Someone actually thought that I probably going out too much or what-so-ever but in fact I am not doing anything and that maybe one of the reason that I felt bad? I am not even sure... but who can say for sure right? especially even I couldn't when I am the person who experiencing all these...

If you are here reading, I ensure you are one of my friend that give a fuck and care, I wonder how many people will even know that I have deactivate or basically not using my Facebook now.... I don't know I just decided not to Login till July 3rd.
If you going to ask me right or not? I am just going to ask you, who to judge?...

I am tired, truly am... What my life has left for me? I am existing I know but at the same time I don't... I know I love a lot of people, truly loves them, care about them, so what? does it matter? Human has this complex system, they just tend to not care about things that are there for them instead, they tend to go for something that they can't get. I suppose we all like achievements?

I ask myself, what I been doing? cause after all seems like what I only do is trying to make others happy or the majority of people at least.
I guess after all, what we all need, may be just as simple as a hug, that's it. Nothing more, nothing less. Some people asked me WHY I don't want Facebook for some times because I doubt actually anyone would care or even notice to be honest...
I rather be bored, doing nothing, rather then getting any attention on that place.... that place that everyone seems to care about you but they aren't really. the place that everyone seems to be there for you but ain't as well...

When I said "be friends", I guess I am nothing more but mean it, it's that easy, that's it and if you take it, I will simply love and care about you but if you ain't in the picture then just don't bother cause if you don't give a fuck, why should I?

BR,
Felix

Love, no matter what - Andrew Solomon

"Even in purely non-religious terms,  

homosexuality represents a misuse of the sexual faculty.   

It is a pathetic little second-rate substitute for reality 

-- a pitiable flight from life. As such, it deserves no compassion,  

it deserves no treatment as minority martyrdom, 

and it deserves not to be deemed anything but a pernicious sickness."

That's from Time magazine in 1966, when I was three years old.  

And last year, the president of the United States came out in favor of gay marriage.

A family that perceives itself to be normal with a child who seems to be extraordinary.  

And I hatched the idea that there are really two kinds of identity. 

 

 

I decided to have children while I was working on this project. And many people were astonished and said, "But how can you decide to have children in the midst of studying everything that can go wrong?" And I said, "I'm not studying everything that can go wrong. What I'm studying is how much love there can be, even when everything appears to be going wrong." --- Andrew Solomon

 

Better off having more choice? the Secret of Happiness

the number of choices had increased then 20, 15, 10 even 5 years ago,

but are they truly making our lives better and making you happier?

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the True ways to be Happy perhaps is to have lower expectations- Barry Schwartz

Have you ever feel powerless?

is there anyone tell you that you are not supposed to do this and that?
When you really wanted to and truly wants to,
all it requires is you to think through it...

and she, Amy Cuddy is going to tell you How to do it:
 

Don't fake it till you make it, fake it till you becomes it.
Do it enough until you actually becomes it and internalize.
The last thing I am going to leave you with is this, Tiny tweaks can lead to big changes - Amy Cuddy

Trip to a HIV+ Firend

I am an international student who study in Seattle,
my friend in Germany is ill as he is HIV
He is only 25 but he is refusing to get treatment! Would you help me on my flight and expenses so that i can visit him and stay besides him for a month from Seattle to Germany?

By this trip I would also like to encourage to get treatment, I love him and all my friends and I hope you would share your love with me, even just a little!
Even you couldn't help share it on your facebook so I can make this come true.

Would you give a hand and help me out just so I can see my ill friend? I wished that I can have done anything else to gather funding to see him but I have no other ways as I already paying a lot for my college.

http://www.gofundme.com/2zfn1o

What about low information voter? What about Christian standings with politics and Life?

When I first arrived in US, the presidential is the hottest thing and televisions shows or so always talk about "Low information voter" but in the modern world we lives in, is there really any chance of low information?

1st, I lives in Seattle, Washington, a pretty much Blue State and Blue County and area I lives in but still I meet up and talk to some Republican by time to time and not being offensive or whatever, I always loved to listen and understand why would that vote Romney or Republican, by curiosity you can say? Ummmm the reason I am asking of cause at some point I think it's non sense but I do want to understand their point of view and how they get that

I figured that they aren't low information at all, they have rich information from one party and they don't think and process it, that's it. So no matter what the other attack them of, they just take it all and not think about it actually it's right or wrong. Especially when they are "Christian" it just not understandable of what they are doing. The most thing about this is they are mostly so confident about it and Never question them. They don't think about WHY they think that way, HOW they start to think that way. They just simply don't question them, they try to accept whatever it's supporting them but not anything else. When they read about other stuff, they don't try to process them and try to research and figure out it's right or wrong, this of cause can be apply to Democrats and Republicans but most likely as I read and know, Republicans lies more as there is nothing in their favor if they speaks the truth? Ok, let's not get into that right now before them stop reading.

Let's talk about the first policy, Obama Care. There is usually one argument is that people should work for their own healthcare, that's why Obama Care is wrong! We shouldn't pay for them cause they don't work!
Ok, I get it, if they don't work they shouldn't get it but what about those who can't find a job even they tried their best? What about those who work but still can't afford just because healthcare in US is way too expensive? US healthcare is nothing much but a legal mafia to me, it's a crime they charge that much! Is it the problem of a doctor? Not necessarily but the system itself? More likely it is.
I went to Germany this spring, I don't have insurance there, even I can Claim it when I get back here in the US with my student insurance, what they charged me for a doctor visit is 25 EUR when the exact same thing in US easily cost 200USD. Is it fair? Why?

When a person who have Aids and HIV in US needed to pay 2500USD a month for their medication and it's free in Germany and UK and way cheaper in other countries, is it right to do so? It's simply a crime! and Obama care is to solve people who can't afford in this kind of system.
Someone told me, people when they retire they should have 401(k) you know retire plan or so, they should be able to afford it but then what about people who didn't work in a company? What about people who self-employed as a farmer? Taxi Driver? how much 401(k) they could have earned? and if you think that is wrong to take care of those people.

DON'T BE A CHRISTIAN. Red Cross and many of the Charity comes out and help, goes to Africa and give Vaccines it's because that's what a christian do! You can tell me they should get it because health doesn't mean much to them but honestly if you don't even have money to eat, in anywhere, health means nothing to those people as well!
Charity go out and help people who are in need, they help no matter what cost that at the end. What they know is they need help and they should help at least for the basics. I am not trying to give them premiums but basics to survive. Many people tried their best to live, to try to just survive in this place and in what sense you think you are way more premium then them? If you ready to love as a christian, doesn't need much, go give some Hugs!

More and more policies and that's what you should agree as a Christian.
another important issues about Obama supporting gay marriage. In my point of view, as a Catholic, do I support gay marriage? I think the government create another title which can have the exact same benefits, it will have no problem. i.e same-sex union or what-so-ever BUT the key point is they MUST have the EXACT same benefits which is not quiet practical in US right now as there are Thousands of laws that they needed to change so for convenience, that's the way to do so and I don't object it but if they can do it that way it's more favorable. after all "Marriage" this concept with GOD is not always there in the history as well. I can say it's being invented? It is not I don't believe God approves and witness the marriage within the church but if the rest isn't trying to get "Marriage" in the church but just to be in this "status", to have that commitment, to be protected under the law, LOVE is the greatest things of ALL right? We shouldn't have stop that.
if LOVE for you as the bible it said, is the greatest of ALL, when god love prostitute too, when god love those people who are sick and got abandon, it's the people who abandon them are wrong, not the rest.

In the name of the Almighty love of God,
It's time to have equality within us,
It's time for us to love, to share, to care each other no matter..
Felix