Me and Facebook? I am tired, truly am...

so I decided to temporary deactivate my Facebook, so what now?

nothing much I suppose, I just feels like not really myself I suppose.
Someone actually thought that I probably going out too much or what-so-ever but in fact I am not doing anything and that maybe one of the reason that I felt bad? I am not even sure... but who can say for sure right? especially even I couldn't when I am the person who experiencing all these...

If you are here reading, I ensure you are one of my friend that give a fuck and care, I wonder how many people will even know that I have deactivate or basically not using my Facebook now.... I don't know I just decided not to Login till July 3rd.
If you going to ask me right or not? I am just going to ask you, who to judge?...

I am tired, truly am... What my life has left for me? I am existing I know but at the same time I don't... I know I love a lot of people, truly loves them, care about them, so what? does it matter? Human has this complex system, they just tend to not care about things that are there for them instead, they tend to go for something that they can't get. I suppose we all like achievements?

I ask myself, what I been doing? cause after all seems like what I only do is trying to make others happy or the majority of people at least.
I guess after all, what we all need, may be just as simple as a hug, that's it. Nothing more, nothing less. Some people asked me WHY I don't want Facebook for some times because I doubt actually anyone would care or even notice to be honest...
I rather be bored, doing nothing, rather then getting any attention on that place.... that place that everyone seems to care about you but they aren't really. the place that everyone seems to be there for you but ain't as well...

When I said "be friends", I guess I am nothing more but mean it, it's that easy, that's it and if you take it, I will simply love and care about you but if you ain't in the picture then just don't bother cause if you don't give a fuck, why should I?

BR,
Felix

Love - Part 2, Are you letting it go?

Some people think, they don’t love someone anymore, they can’t care about it anymore but until you really leave it, until they thing is not longer yours, you just started to miss it. Sometimes you would have a chance to save it, rescue it back but it’s not always like that.

You knew that thing is not gonna happen between, or you just know it’s not going to now or soon, you thought you let it go and start going around but when you see that person in front of you again, you try to avoid them, you try not to talk to them but when you did or you just see things that you thought is mean nothing to you

BUT

You do actually have feelings,

It’s not it mean nothing to you but yourself telling you that it “Shouldn’t” mean something to you, that’s the struggle you have. It’s like a kid having something that mom tell him not to and you have that little fear inside you but also excited. Then when you got figure that you have it and it just taken from you…

… It’s just killing you from inside, that tough feelings like knife cutting, the worse part of it is, it didn’t cut you open from outside but inside. It just tear you off like a worm eating you in there but you can’t do anything with your bare hands.

There’s always a dark side if there’s bright one

After all if you are so dedicated, time may make you a winner for him but also a loser for other things and it is not guarantee that you may have a positive outcome as well, so is it even worth you to do so?

Are you sure about it?

Thanks for telling me that you haven’t been so sure about things in your life but this…(just you will understand lol)

People are always waiting “the one”, sometimes you met “the one” of yours but sadly sometimes, you are just not “the one” for him. People try to let go but after all they just found out no matter how you let it go, it won’t so you better just keep a special place for him deep in your heart. That’s easier perhaps… life still go on and sometimes, that person who had a special place in your heart may just be taken or replaced by someone else, something else till time cross, you meet each other again, feelings burn, situation may just not changing but the feelings are. Sometimes people become best friend, sometimes they become boyfriends, girlfriends, sometimes enemy but no one ever know but it you tries it out, right?

Long distance relationship seems never work, yea it didn’t when you worry about it thinking of how future will be, even sometimes the future thing will help you to have some hope..… but for me, as Albert Einstein said “ I never worry about the future, it come soon enough” “ Thus each person by his fears gives wings to rumor, and, without any real source of apprehension, men fear what they themselves have imagines. – Lucan.

When you kiss, most people always close their eyes ofcoz you will have a little peak sometimes: p but you know, kisses are so nice, is because the best of it is without you watching… coz you imagination make it work even better, the feelings of your lips just telling you how much you want it on you, how much you like that person.
When love comes, you shouldn’t be able to stop it coz the feeling can be just so strong that you can’t even stop thinking of that person, you may tell yourself to back off, you may tell yourself not to miss and start something new but when finally got to meet again, you just can’t help it, you can stop yourself from expressing it but you couldn’t stop what grow inside you.

You can bless him by your skin but not your heart even you say so…  it’s all about timing; don’t waste it, not now, not ever….

I won't give up, i won't.....