Bites of Philosophy - Love is...

Then I was told somebody is going to come to me soon...
and he gave me a card telling me...

"Love is patient,
Love is kind.
It is not jealous,
love is not pompous,
it is not inflated, it is not rude,
it does not seek its own interests,
it is not quick-tempered,
it does not brood over injury,
it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoice with the truth.
It bears all things,
believes all things,
hope all things,
endures all things.
Love never fails...
so Faith, Hope, Love remain,
these three; but the greatest of these is love." - 1 Corinthians Ch.13:4-8b,13

this is how love should be and what I should do that I have been told
and if I was going to have or find someone, it is these virtues in someone I am looking for as well

Have your patient and wait because at the end of it all,
it is the one who is there for you all the time is the one who worth it but doesn't take too long,
people come people go, no one was supposed to wait for you
if someone gives you some love, love back :)

you know after all I
"once again I'm thinking about 
Taking the easy way out 

But if I let you go I will never know 
What my life would be holding you close to me 
Will I ever see you smiling back at me?
How will I know
if I let you go? " - If I let you go - Westlife

so yea no one knows till the end so wait and see who are capable to do those,

look in them.

Relationships: When what you see isn't what you get

some people think that you aren't compatible to be with because you can't have a good conversation between or the conversations doesn't flow between you two but what they don't know is the fact that they have taken your breath away, they have spin your mind at first and that you just could not have said anything or did not know what to say at ALL and only thing u can do is 'silly' laughing... until you finally make up your mind and start getting back on track.

One thing I do believe is that I think people met for a reason, it's either a blessing or a lesson or both. Are you one of the positives or one of the experiences? It has nothing to deal with did thing worked out between two of you or not, it does not matter even, after all, it wasn't a match between, it can still be a blessing because I believe loves never dies and live within, it transforms maybe, or like energy, it is merely there. Be happy for the right experiences, it is truly remarkable how we do not see what we have and learn something from the bad experiences. I believe all things are good though you can make it better. It is always helpful to put your smiles on if you want someone to smiles or you want to be happy yourself because your emotions do spread, it is like a virus, and it has to be a good virus if that's what it is :)

When you meet someone more serious, then you do in life and relationship, and when they are actually telling you and acting and being more then you do, you probably get scared at first but slow down your mind a little, isn't that what you wanted all these time after all?

People often have different approaches to things, and is it good or bad that people have differences? Is that a bad thing if someone changes for another person? Is it considered too big of a sacrifice if someone wants to change at the very beginning of getting to know someone?
Most people wanted to have full control of their life, but apparently we don't but we always wanted to hold on to that little control we have in this world at least, and we do not want to leave any of the little freedom we have at all as well, and that is why people don't like to be in a committed relationship. Because when we do get into a relationship, you have to share that little control you have in your life, you have to even share a part of the little freedom that you have, and that's what makes it scary, and people often wanted to be casual because we always wanted to be in full control.

For me, I think that if someone is changing for you or even only having thought of that, they only did that because they believe it's worthwhile. The only did that because they think you worth your time to do so, and is that a good or bad thing if this is happening at the very beginning of a relationship? Not talking about serious relationships of any kind but only as of date or as part of knowing each other, is that good or bad? If I really have to answer that, I can only say I will be way more interested in a person who can take a leap of faith, a person who can trust and a person who loves rather then only the physical interaction you can have. I am not saying they aren't essential or delightful, but that's what truly makes a relationship beautiful and lasts long.

Don't be scared of people who share a lot to you because it is those who don't share, you should be aware and worry of. I am a very patient person, and I give a lot of second chances because I think it is imperative to forgive and to give chances for change, chances to know, chances to understand each other and you need to spend time on one thing before you can know does the person really worthwhile.
Don't ask why NOT?


My friend Francis once said: "when you're gay and find a man who's faithful to you, but that shit on lock, because faithful gay men are a dying species." I am trying to hold on the faithful endangered species that I found, but not lock :p lol though, are you holding on to your chances?

DOMA has been struck down

the court has decided by 5-4 that
DOMA is unconstitutional as a deprivation of the equal liberty of persons that is protected by the Fifth Amendment.

Prop 8. sent back to the lower court on standing

Here is the link to the opinion: http://www.supremecourt.gov/opinions/12pdf/12-307_g2bh.pdf

Click here to see the senario
as DOMA Struck down and Prop 8 case dismissed on standing

the challenge to the constitutionality of California's Proposition 8, which bans same-sex marriage: After the two same-sex couples filed their challenge to Proposition 8 in federal court in California, the California government officials who would normally have defended the law in court, declined to do so. So the proponents of Proposition 8 stepped in to defend the law, and the California Supreme Court (in response to a request by the lower court) ruled that they could do so under state law. But today the Supreme Court held that the proponents do not have the legal right to defend the law in court. As a result, it held, the decision by the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit, the intermediate appellate court, has no legal force, and it sent the case back to that court with instructions for it to dismiss the case.
 

What happens with ruling on DOMA and Prop. 8? (Updated Link)

a very interesting interactive map showing you what will happens in the country for different ruling scenario of DOMA and Prop.8

CLICK Here :)

Sweeptakes all over!!! FREE MILES NOW!

so Recently there are TWO sweepstakes that I saw that is organized by airlines,
Delta and KLM

KLM is doing Mr. Miles

Take off in search of Mr Miles

Every day, 407 instant wins allow you to win:

400 prizes of 500 Miles strictly reserved for

Flying Blue members and

7 prizes of 10,000 Miles.

One other instant win will allow you to register

for the draw to win 500,000 Miles and

a Flying Blue Platinum card. 

CLICK HERE for Mr Miles Challenge for a chance to win miles or a Flying Blue Platinum Card!

Besides of KLM,

DELTA IS GIVING OUT SKYMILES TOO!

Delta is giving 1 million miles as a grand prize lucky draw.

and prizes of a quarter-million miles, for 14 weeks!

CLICK HERE for a million miles chance!

Go ahead like their app and you can enter after entering your infos.

NOT YET!! EVEN AMERICAN AIRLINES!

FREE FLIGHT TO AUSTRALIA?
Two Entries available through QF and AA, links below :)

CLICK HERE FOR A CHANCE OF FREE FLIGHT TO AUSTRALIA via American Airlines
CLICK HERE FOR ANOTHER ENTRY via QANTAS

We all know airlines are copy cats now I just wish they copy more and more on these great things and promotions instead of a harder and harder loyalty club program especially the new Delta policy on MQDs unless by then even Silver can easily get free upgrade

Join now and share the love!

Love, Miss or Struggle?

I have friends who are hundreds, thousands miles away that I miss that I tried to tell them every day.

I have friends who are less then 50 miles away and I think maybe I love but I am not dare to tell just because it is probably not gonna go anywhere, not gonna have anything. Not because I haven't tried though cause I promise I did and people who know me knows that I always tried till it's total dead end.

What's the deal after all really?

There are several kind of people.

First kind of people, they Lie....
and unfortunately, most of them lies......a lot.... that you can't even believes it.
Luckily most of all, usually it doesn't really matter at all till you actually trust them, then it goes ugly and horrible :p... you know that's how things goes most time.

Second Kind of people, they Disappear.
Sometimes they do it after they lie you know then they disappear... it just happens...
Either shame or embarrassment or basically just do Not want to face the problem at all.
They tell themselves all kind of different excuses...

1) I don't really care, it's not what I like
2) We have too less in common
3) I shouldn't be the one to talk first
4) I just don't want to deal with it
5) one it uses all the time to explain to their friends to make the whole thing legit
         ---> He is just crazy
         ---> It's just insane..... don't even know how to say it...
most of the time cause they know if they say it, their friends will know it's their fucking problems, not others.

6) Bunch of other excuses, never end

so after all, no matter what excuse you use, you have, you explained it,
if you just disappear, there's only one way to describe you honestly, irresponsible.
before you gone, no matter scream or whatever, say it, tell them what was the problem
if not it will just be a game or hate that never finishes.

Third kind of people? They cry.

Not literally crying I mean but usually this happens when the people who lie and disappear trying to get back to whoever they was with. They say I am Sorry, it's my fault...... thousands of legit excuses or the best out of it, they blame themselves first so you basically have no ways around it. The only thing to do at that point most time is just tell yourself, that's it, I am not taking more of this crap. Of cause sometimes the other person can be really shitty as well and that's why the other decide to fuck it and do all the crap.

so self-evaluating is really important as well
nothing goes one way, NO communications are one way, no matter you want to receives it or not, it's always two ways. No response, is totally a response and it's one of the lowest quality ones and sometimes they even qualify in the list of disappear.
..........

The Fourth kind of people, they stay Quiet.

No matter what happens, they try to solve it themselves first all the time,
usually they will try to comfort themselves and try to explain it in his/her head,
and if it couldn't some speak up, some don't
but no matter which one they are, most of the time they loves the other person lot lot lot
to do this sacrifice. it's a hard thing to do, maybe you thought keeping silent is easy but it's not.
Think about if you see something horrible and you are not allowed to say anything about it?

It's one of the worse thing and the worst about this is that the person who keeping Quiet and Silent isn't hurting the person who are doing things wrong, it's him/herself is the one who suffer out of all these.


Some occasions are different ofcoz though you know, you decided to not say something just so you don't loss more out of the conversation and you still want to keep a friend but that situation are kinda rare even though people think they should keep Quiet often but that often the best decision and actually benefiting the whole event.

I ask myself a question most of the time when I make a decision,

Who is going to be Happy at the end of this,
if someone is going to be Happy, no matter yourself or others,
determine is it worth it to do so but if no one is going to be happy about it,
that's easy, just drop it and leave it.

Have a great week for now, it's Monday
BR,
Felix

Me and Facebook? I am tired, truly am...

so I decided to temporary deactivate my Facebook, so what now?

nothing much I suppose, I just feels like not really myself I suppose.
Someone actually thought that I probably going out too much or what-so-ever but in fact I am not doing anything and that maybe one of the reason that I felt bad? I am not even sure... but who can say for sure right? especially even I couldn't when I am the person who experiencing all these...

If you are here reading, I ensure you are one of my friend that give a fuck and care, I wonder how many people will even know that I have deactivate or basically not using my Facebook now.... I don't know I just decided not to Login till July 3rd.
If you going to ask me right or not? I am just going to ask you, who to judge?...

I am tired, truly am... What my life has left for me? I am existing I know but at the same time I don't... I know I love a lot of people, truly loves them, care about them, so what? does it matter? Human has this complex system, they just tend to not care about things that are there for them instead, they tend to go for something that they can't get. I suppose we all like achievements?

I ask myself, what I been doing? cause after all seems like what I only do is trying to make others happy or the majority of people at least.
I guess after all, what we all need, may be just as simple as a hug, that's it. Nothing more, nothing less. Some people asked me WHY I don't want Facebook for some times because I doubt actually anyone would care or even notice to be honest...
I rather be bored, doing nothing, rather then getting any attention on that place.... that place that everyone seems to care about you but they aren't really. the place that everyone seems to be there for you but ain't as well...

When I said "be friends", I guess I am nothing more but mean it, it's that easy, that's it and if you take it, I will simply love and care about you but if you ain't in the picture then just don't bother cause if you don't give a fuck, why should I?

BR,
Felix

Love, no matter what - Andrew Solomon

"Even in purely non-religious terms,  

homosexuality represents a misuse of the sexual faculty.   

It is a pathetic little second-rate substitute for reality 

-- a pitiable flight from life. As such, it deserves no compassion,  

it deserves no treatment as minority martyrdom, 

and it deserves not to be deemed anything but a pernicious sickness."

That's from Time magazine in 1966, when I was three years old.  

And last year, the president of the United States came out in favor of gay marriage.

A family that perceives itself to be normal with a child who seems to be extraordinary.  

And I hatched the idea that there are really two kinds of identity. 

 

 

I decided to have children while I was working on this project. And many people were astonished and said, "But how can you decide to have children in the midst of studying everything that can go wrong?" And I said, "I'm not studying everything that can go wrong. What I'm studying is how much love there can be, even when everything appears to be going wrong." --- Andrew Solomon

 

What about low information voter? What about Christian standings with politics and Life?

When I first arrived in US, the presidential is the hottest thing and televisions shows or so always talk about "Low information voter" but in the modern world we lives in, is there really any chance of low information?

1st, I lives in Seattle, Washington, a pretty much Blue State and Blue County and area I lives in but still I meet up and talk to some Republican by time to time and not being offensive or whatever, I always loved to listen and understand why would that vote Romney or Republican, by curiosity you can say? Ummmm the reason I am asking of cause at some point I think it's non sense but I do want to understand their point of view and how they get that

I figured that they aren't low information at all, they have rich information from one party and they don't think and process it, that's it. So no matter what the other attack them of, they just take it all and not think about it actually it's right or wrong. Especially when they are "Christian" it just not understandable of what they are doing. The most thing about this is they are mostly so confident about it and Never question them. They don't think about WHY they think that way, HOW they start to think that way. They just simply don't question them, they try to accept whatever it's supporting them but not anything else. When they read about other stuff, they don't try to process them and try to research and figure out it's right or wrong, this of cause can be apply to Democrats and Republicans but most likely as I read and know, Republicans lies more as there is nothing in their favor if they speaks the truth? Ok, let's not get into that right now before them stop reading.

Let's talk about the first policy, Obama Care. There is usually one argument is that people should work for their own healthcare, that's why Obama Care is wrong! We shouldn't pay for them cause they don't work!
Ok, I get it, if they don't work they shouldn't get it but what about those who can't find a job even they tried their best? What about those who work but still can't afford just because healthcare in US is way too expensive? US healthcare is nothing much but a legal mafia to me, it's a crime they charge that much! Is it the problem of a doctor? Not necessarily but the system itself? More likely it is.
I went to Germany this spring, I don't have insurance there, even I can Claim it when I get back here in the US with my student insurance, what they charged me for a doctor visit is 25 EUR when the exact same thing in US easily cost 200USD. Is it fair? Why?

When a person who have Aids and HIV in US needed to pay 2500USD a month for their medication and it's free in Germany and UK and way cheaper in other countries, is it right to do so? It's simply a crime! and Obama care is to solve people who can't afford in this kind of system.
Someone told me, people when they retire they should have 401(k) you know retire plan or so, they should be able to afford it but then what about people who didn't work in a company? What about people who self-employed as a farmer? Taxi Driver? how much 401(k) they could have earned? and if you think that is wrong to take care of those people.

DON'T BE A CHRISTIAN. Red Cross and many of the Charity comes out and help, goes to Africa and give Vaccines it's because that's what a christian do! You can tell me they should get it because health doesn't mean much to them but honestly if you don't even have money to eat, in anywhere, health means nothing to those people as well!
Charity go out and help people who are in need, they help no matter what cost that at the end. What they know is they need help and they should help at least for the basics. I am not trying to give them premiums but basics to survive. Many people tried their best to live, to try to just survive in this place and in what sense you think you are way more premium then them? If you ready to love as a christian, doesn't need much, go give some Hugs!

More and more policies and that's what you should agree as a Christian.
another important issues about Obama supporting gay marriage. In my point of view, as a Catholic, do I support gay marriage? I think the government create another title which can have the exact same benefits, it will have no problem. i.e same-sex union or what-so-ever BUT the key point is they MUST have the EXACT same benefits which is not quiet practical in US right now as there are Thousands of laws that they needed to change so for convenience, that's the way to do so and I don't object it but if they can do it that way it's more favorable. after all "Marriage" this concept with GOD is not always there in the history as well. I can say it's being invented? It is not I don't believe God approves and witness the marriage within the church but if the rest isn't trying to get "Marriage" in the church but just to be in this "status", to have that commitment, to be protected under the law, LOVE is the greatest things of ALL right? We shouldn't have stop that.
if LOVE for you as the bible it said, is the greatest of ALL, when god love prostitute too, when god love those people who are sick and got abandon, it's the people who abandon them are wrong, not the rest.

In the name of the Almighty love of God,
It's time to have equality within us,
It's time for us to love, to share, to care each other no matter..
Felix

Love - Part 2, Are you letting it go?

Some people think, they don’t love someone anymore, they can’t care about it anymore but until you really leave it, until they thing is not longer yours, you just started to miss it. Sometimes you would have a chance to save it, rescue it back but it’s not always like that.

You knew that thing is not gonna happen between, or you just know it’s not going to now or soon, you thought you let it go and start going around but when you see that person in front of you again, you try to avoid them, you try not to talk to them but when you did or you just see things that you thought is mean nothing to you

BUT

You do actually have feelings,

It’s not it mean nothing to you but yourself telling you that it “Shouldn’t” mean something to you, that’s the struggle you have. It’s like a kid having something that mom tell him not to and you have that little fear inside you but also excited. Then when you got figure that you have it and it just taken from you…

… It’s just killing you from inside, that tough feelings like knife cutting, the worse part of it is, it didn’t cut you open from outside but inside. It just tear you off like a worm eating you in there but you can’t do anything with your bare hands.

There’s always a dark side if there’s bright one

After all if you are so dedicated, time may make you a winner for him but also a loser for other things and it is not guarantee that you may have a positive outcome as well, so is it even worth you to do so?

Are you sure about it?

Thanks for telling me that you haven’t been so sure about things in your life but this…(just you will understand lol)

People are always waiting “the one”, sometimes you met “the one” of yours but sadly sometimes, you are just not “the one” for him. People try to let go but after all they just found out no matter how you let it go, it won’t so you better just keep a special place for him deep in your heart. That’s easier perhaps… life still go on and sometimes, that person who had a special place in your heart may just be taken or replaced by someone else, something else till time cross, you meet each other again, feelings burn, situation may just not changing but the feelings are. Sometimes people become best friend, sometimes they become boyfriends, girlfriends, sometimes enemy but no one ever know but it you tries it out, right?

Long distance relationship seems never work, yea it didn’t when you worry about it thinking of how future will be, even sometimes the future thing will help you to have some hope..… but for me, as Albert Einstein said “ I never worry about the future, it come soon enough” “ Thus each person by his fears gives wings to rumor, and, without any real source of apprehension, men fear what they themselves have imagines. – Lucan.

When you kiss, most people always close their eyes ofcoz you will have a little peak sometimes: p but you know, kisses are so nice, is because the best of it is without you watching… coz you imagination make it work even better, the feelings of your lips just telling you how much you want it on you, how much you like that person.
When love comes, you shouldn’t be able to stop it coz the feeling can be just so strong that you can’t even stop thinking of that person, you may tell yourself to back off, you may tell yourself not to miss and start something new but when finally got to meet again, you just can’t help it, you can stop yourself from expressing it but you couldn’t stop what grow inside you.

You can bless him by your skin but not your heart even you say so…  it’s all about timing; don’t waste it, not now, not ever….

I won't give up, i won't.....

Important?

There're so many important things in life but are they really important or you are just been told it's important?

What do you think is important for you?
Is it religious things like Baptism, Confirmation, Marriage?
or Study like good High School, College, University?
What are really important for you?

It had been so much fun for me from June this year.
Friends visiting, staying in different hotels, crashing at friends couch, bed.
I can almost do Hotel reviews lol

too many visiting... Let's see how many I can list for now.
From visiting to work to both.
James, Steve, Jeff, Dean, Daniel, Dan, Michael, Mason, Pablo, lot lot more....
for me myself not living in the city, it's actually so much fun in Hong Kong to be a tourist... as I say all the time Hong Kong is awesome but for me.... It's not really awesome for living but it's really cool for travel and visit.

For me nothing much is ever important, life is short.
Albert Einstein said. I never worry about the future, it comes soon enough.
so why would you?
Love is so much easier... When you love it, you want it you go for it. Many friends of mine know it I have a theory no matter you agree it or not, that's why sometimes I really go for something. When I do it I meant it, I don't mind to wait for hours, as long as the result comes.
""I hate that when I can do something but I didn't and regret afterwards"", the regret is just too much for me to take. If you did it and fail, at least you have tried but if not it's such a waste of yourself, of your own chance

so when you think you should do it, stop thinking and go for it. Hmm something get me regret, funny story: so one day in the morning after a hook up, me and the mate want to get a cab but they seems all full, I was thinking maybe I should tell him: Hey give me a kiss and the miracle will happen... I should really said it coz the taxi just appear 5 seconds later, if I have said, it's gonna really like a miracle :p......
I know I know things don't come as you want like this all the time but what can I say man, maybe I am just a luck man....xD

so whatever you want to do, go for it and don't regret for it, you have the responsiblity, take it or leave it....
Regret for you have done but not you haven't~
you know I love and care you all.....shir....lol
Felix.......

Movie - The Crazies

In the middle of the night, being bored alone, watching Fox Movie Premium on my cable tv... it's a movie about disease and people sort of zombies but after all it's just all about trust.


it starts with a nice small little town, one day a plane crash and it contain a original virus which is going to be disposal and vanish in Texas but the plane just crash there and the virus start to spread. you know they just spread spread spread..... something normal about movies going...
There're people who dump their wife and children so they thought they can survive following the instructions of the government, some just can't ditch their families behind and got back for them and save them. for all the love and god sake, the couple get away from the disaster and the brutal killing of government, of cause it's all just movie and stories


but the very true thing is... all are just about trust of friends, lover, everyone...
someone told me you know some of the societies or circle, they just don't have trust, nothing is honest, maybe that's the way it works but that still doesn't mean you shouldn't give on and give a try for that. For god sake some lies are just for goods, you won't be happy about knowing the truth anyway, as long as it's not hiding from you forever or just something make you lost something, just go for it and forgive it... ofcoz cheating is not something which make you have no lost... unless it's an open relationship and i mean... if it's open, hmmmm you have expected that i suppose.


Currently something; is going on with my life besides of I am going to Seattle, if you are my real friend, you would have know it or if you had ever really notice my Facebook, you may have. Nothing really certain for now maybe but I trust and I still have a little faith that this may can work.... I am just gonna tell myself, this will work, this is working, it will be done!... I am going for it.. doing all these for you, are you gonna do the same?

Love you all,
Felix

When you and I are not going through the same thing (1)

The worst thing in love and relationship is you two are Not

having the same feeling as the other

Maybe you will think breaking up is always the most sad thing on earth since you two may never be together but u still in love with him.

Maybe you will think that the single way love is the most sad thing because you can just look at him/her having fun and having relationships with others but never you.

or
You may think that they both in love but they don't know is the worst...the truth is... the still have the chance..
or

you will just think when two people fall in love but can't be together because of location or family matters are the saddest thing 

BUT
I will tell you that the worst thing in love and relationship are actually you two are not having the same feelings for other.... and this is gonna make you suffer and kill you...drains out your soul... but ofcoz there's another result besides of this... you two gonna be happy and be together for a long long time due to all this things you two have gone through.

so Why this is gonna kill you, you may wanna ask.... WHY
Check here next week and you will have your answers : )

Lack of Security in Love?...are u one of them?

Observe the little things in daily life can always know that someone 

did or din't have the sense of Security for love and relationships

Here are the Symptoms.... Are you one of them?

1. Do not believe in Love and relationship
2. Always like to put on something (Jacket, Jumper)
3. Like curled up and holding legs when sleep at night
4. Desperate to have care from others and be concerned but not sympathetic
5. Used to listen music when in the late and lonely nights
6. Before going to sleep, think things will be more emotionally, and even cry
7. Pretended to be really happy, forcing yourself to smile in front of others
8. Easy to get touch by others
9. Love to express their emotions and mood by words
10. Always cranky but never think you are.
11. You might hurt yourselves
12. Used to use useless help words
13. Doubt their value of existence 
14. Love fantasy but very impractical
15. Afraid of having too much, because you have to worry about losing it
16. Easy soft-hearted
17. Love to think about the past and memorial 
18. Care about the thinking of people around them
19. You will slow down their steps in the busy streets and feel lonely and helpless
20. When you wear cloths without pockets, you just don't know where your hands should be...
21. Hate to speak or just love to speak non-stop
22. Used to sit at the corner or standing near to the walls
23. No matter going on train, bus or toilets, you used to have to same place/seat
24. When you crying alone, u don't like to clean your tears but feel it slip through your face
25. Very concern what other think
26. Scared and afraid of Dark
27. Hiding the truth from your heart to others
28. Easy to be satisfy but also more easily to get hurt
29. Looks mahogany, shallow... in fact just to protect yourself
30. With a good intention but unconscious and secretly comparing

Safe - Britt Nicole

Lyrics:

You keep tryin' to get inside my head,

While I keep trying to lose the words you said

Can't you see I'm hangin by a thread,

To my life what I know,

Yeah I'm losing control and

Oh no, my walls are gonna break

So close, it's more than I can take

I'm so tired of turning and running away

When love ju-st isn't safe

(you're not safe, mmm-mm)

I'm strong enough, I've always told myself

I never want to need somebody else

But I've already fallen from that hill,

So I'm droppin my guard

Here's your chance at my heart and

Oh no, my walls are gonna break

So close, it's more than I can take

I'm so tired of turning and running away

When love ju-st isn't

Everything you want, but it's everything you need

It's not always happy endings,

But it's all the in between

It's taken so long, so long to finally see

That your love is worth the risk

Oh no, my walls are gonna breeeaakk

Oh no, my walls are gonna break

So close, it's more than I can take

I'm so tired of turning and running away

When love ju-st isn't safe

Oh no, my walls are gonna break

So close, it's more than I can take

So tired of turning and running away

When love just isn't safe

You're not safe

And that's okay

Let's move on to 2012

This blog maybe becoming the only way that i can talk whatever I want to... or maybe not...idrk

Man always love to conclu what they have done in the year when it comes to the end, 

but when u conclu it, u have actually forgot lots of it
so last year, there's an application on Facebook,
rewinding all your status on the previous year!
It is kind of surprise!

Just to look back your message,

Last year you were still texting "I love you" with someone,

There's a big change within this year
so who are u gonna miss at the next new year Eve...

or u gonna have someone besides u that u still haven't meet this year?

a year is a short time, it's just a page in your life

but you in the time

no matter is sweet or pain,

time going by second and seconds

so a year can also be such a long time

How many years you have in your life?
once it has limit, you know that you can't have everything,

just when u know there're only about sixty thousands meals in your life,

you will not wanna waste it on an instant noodle
u always thinks that life is long

so u will have thoughts and don't wanna affect the life later on

all the time, I think I am too nervous

and i will always try my best to see someone,

to talk with someone

and i think, am I too aggressive, is it right? 

Last year, I found out that

I always think, if I don't do it now,

don't do it today, you may have the chance to do it again

maybe is not the right time anymore:

just like when u wanna comfort a friend

and if he recovers at the other day,

and u go to comfort him, aren't he gonna face that unhappy again?

even if u said it, he can't feel your care anymore.

What u wanna today, do it

and u afraid you didn't have the chance again,

that is the "Doomsday Syndrome"

although sometimes you just feel like you're being push by yourself

but when u look back, why not?

at least u didn't have the regret: Why I didn't do that?
Live with No Excuses, Love with no Regrets.

This year I have been not being honest, not speaking to you direct

someday when we were just talking

I have written on Facebook that I have never regret before

and I think he saw it

because for me,

the only regret is now.

This is the year of lost,

it is u, the only thing i have regret and lost

From the time I lost it last year,

whoever is it, when I feel the same again,

I just catching every single moment tight.

coz only that would make the way I have go through be meaningful,

and make the mistake I have taken be worthy

because of the me in 2010

make the me in 2011

and because of ant. in 2011

got the me in the brand new me in 2012

aren't u the same?

now I don't fucking care anymore....

not saying this from my heart maybe,

but at least I have others to distract me and I start to relax...
I told myself, he is just another jerk/asshole so chill...
I would still love to meet up but before that he has to go for a check
and yea actually I still care about him... just too much
coz I wanna Love with No Regrets~

Complete of soul or empty?

In the seven days God creation, God get a rib from man and made woman,

and said all the man and woman are finding the other half of them which has lost.

When u found it, life will change and become complete.

if we break apart from the compete, you will be go on alone by your own,

your soul will be empty or get crush.

The feelings of empty and crush have surrounded me by all the movies recently...

and also some of the things happened recently.

like the movie from the lucky special meet up by the characters,

 till they feels good about each others, go along....

then they broke up with each others.. makes them wanna die from the lonely... 

and seems lonely will dry up life and makes everyday without colours like a black & white movie.

They stop to have feelings about what's happen besides them, 

sitting in a castle looking the changes from the windows, 

months and months go on but their heart never change,

 they can't feel the joy, the happiness and sadness... or even the temperature outside...

How much love u need to offer to make your soul feel empty when u broke up?

How much miss u need then you will feel your soul being tear apart?

Selfish? Make yourself Happy now!

Sometimes people will say you're doing selfish... but actually the one who say this usually selfish himself...

Man decisions are always selfish, cause everyone decide for themselves and that's nothing but normal... Maybe sometimes people will say: you should think about others but not just yourself.but the truth is you never satisfy every single person and someone will still think you're selfish and probably you are!

Think about a CEO of the enterprise rise the salary of the employees in his company, his share holders will think he's selfish to get those claps from his employees or the society... Maybe you will say he can tale the balance point... but man are greedy... When you give them something they ask for more... You just can't balance and fixed everything they want...

Applying personal goal or own expectation to other are selfish?
People will say hey "loving others as love yourself"... The first thing come up in your mind probably will be... Give everything I like to him... These sounds nice.... You give things that what you thought it is good for him and you feel good about that too...
and is it everyone be happy for this "Love"?
If it's lucky, it do benefit someone who think the same... If not... It's gonna be poor cause he's just keep getting different expectation and thinks that he don't want...
Hmm... Sounds like the society? Cause it's happening!
Hmm... Seems so familiar? Its reality!

You never know, I never know and actually no man know the balance point cause it's changing every single second! What I will say is just do it as you will be happy... Just balance yourself and treat yourself better... What you want? Claps from your friends, employees? or from your parents, shareholders? You want both... but the reality is you can get what you want...

so sometimes make your decision fast and clear.. With your love and care means what you think you should give and have no regret!!! Just go ahead make yourself happy now!

Giving all these to you beloved one?
To someone on the street?
It is all your decision, your choice!

What is decision? Is for you to made!

How to forget someone fast?

It takes me forever(a long period) to forget someone I used to love even if the relationship lasted for a long period of time. You might think that I am emotionally strong or that i am an exception but the truth is that I suffered for more than a year after my first breakup and then after reading about love’s psychology I developed some kind of immunity to breakups.

明明沒有擁有過，但卻感覺到失去的滋味。

明明沒有親近過，但卻感覺到距離遙遠了。

明明沒有表白過，但卻感覺到自己被對方拒絕了。

明明沒有爭取過，但卻感覺到自己被打敗了。

明明沒有付出過，但卻感覺到自己浪費了心機。

明明沒有被利劍刺進心臟，但卻感覺到我的心不再完整，而是四分五裂。

如果將這份心情告訴你，會覺得困擾嗎？

你會體會我的感受嗎？

你會接受我嗎？

抑或令彼此的距離更遠？

我知道失敗的成數很高，所以我不敢嘗試。

也從沒想過有這種情況的發生。

可是卻想知道你的心意。

能否對我有少少心跳加速的感覺？

能否告訴我我你的在腦海出現過？你知道嗎？能佔據著你心坎六十秒的時間已令我感到高興萬分。

能否告訢我你有沒有喜歡過我嗎？一星期也好、一日也好、一秒鐘也好……

這些問題，可能一輩子也不知道答案。

你不會知道我的心情，我也不知道你的感覺。

我痛苦地在黑暗中暗戀著你。

曾經暗戀過別人的你，必定捕捉到這種感覺。

啞子吃黃蓮吧。

明知不表白就沒有結果，可是非要自己跌過半死不可。

其實真有點虐待自己。

為什麼就不把心中的苦澀告訴他/她呢？

說不定，他/她會明白。

就算對真只當你是朋友，要是你們是真正的朋友，他/她絕對不會避開你。

這樣的你就會得到解脫。

總好過令自己後悔嘛。

現在就拿出你的勇氣，去告訴他/她：「我愛你。」

「只要/他她幸福就行了。」我從不相信這套老套的理論。

看著他/她跟別人在一起，難道你真的會由衷的替他們高興？

難道在你的心頭，真的壓兒醋意也沒有？

拜託，不要將自己當做聖人。

不過，表白的大前堤是對象是單身的。

要不你或會成了破壞別人幸福的罪魁禍首。

...maybe english will be better...let's put it into Google Translate

Obviously did not have before, but feel the loss of taste.

Obviously not close before, but felt from far away.

Obviously did not tell the truth before, but feel they have been refused.

Obviously did not fight too, but feel they have been defeated.

Obviously did not pay off, but it felt a waste of effort.

Obviously not a sword pierce the heart, but my heart will not feel complete, but apart.

If the mood to tell you feel troubled by it? 

Will you understand my feelings?

Will you accept me?

Or so the distance between us farther?

I know the percentage of failure is high, so I did not dare try.

Also never thought that from happening. But they want to know your mind.

Can you have some heart-pounding feeling because of me?

Can you tell me I appear before you in mind? Did you know?

If I have occupy the time you heart for 60 seconds.. I am pleased to see.

Could you tell me did you never like me?

No matter a week, a day or a second... ...

I may not have any answer(s) until the end of my life! and you do not know my feelings, I do not know how you feel. I am painfully in love with you in the dark.

You have crush on someone else's, will capture this feeling. Mute silence to eat it.

I know that if you dun say anything, you'll have no answers and you'll be half dead like zombies.

In fact, really a little abuse themselves. Why do not the bitterness of the heart to tell him / her?

Perhaps, he / she will understand. Even for real only when you are friends, if you are a true friend, he / she will not avoid you. So you get relief. Well better than to make their own regret.

Now take your courage to tell him / her: "I love you." "As long as he / she being on the line." I do not believe this old-fashioned theory. Look at him / her together with others, do you really sincerely happy for them? Is it in your heart, do not pressure children jealousy?

Please, do not own as a saint. However, the confession of a large object is before the embankment is single. Or you may destroy the happiness of others has become the culprit. 

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